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Saying Sorry
Saying you are sorry does not remove the other person's pain.Apologizing does not prevent you from having the same reaction again under different circumstances a week or two later.To correct a pain you caused another, you must eradicate the trait inside yourself that caused you to react in the first place.
In other words, recognize, admit, and acknowledge those ugly little traits that live within you, no matter how scary the prospect might be.Once you overcome the fear of acknowledging the lower part of yourself, then go to the next phase, which is to work very hard at eliminting those traits from your nature.
Today, focus on one nasty trait inside yourself.You might not eliminate it in one sure shot, but you can start the elimination process by blasting it with the light of awareness.
Relationships
A relationship acts as a mirror in which you can- if you choose to, look at your reflection honestly-see negativity and move to correct it.Only with this foundaton can you build a fulfilling and lasting love.
Motivation
Tips for motivation
1. Set a goal;divide into smaller goals that are easier to manage.
2.Don't think just do it.When you think about it you give yourself an opportunity to talk yourself out of it.Don't think, just create automatic rituals and do it.The motivation will come after youve accomplished the goal.
3.Finish what you start.Hammer it into your mind.Develop the habit of finishing.
4.Socialize with people of similar interests.
5.Persistence.Set backs are opportunities for you to finetune and strategize making you successful.
6.Read about the subject of your interests.
7.Constantly affirm to yourself you can and will succeed.
8.Look at photos of what you want ot achieve.
9.Visulaize your goal desire and imagine how you will feel.
Watch out for ASSOCIATIONS
We have been conditioned to associate habits to feelings, people, smells, or sounds.In fact most of what we think is addicitons in fact are simply associations.Some of our associations are positive other's trigger behaviors we wish to get rid of.Just thismorning I was sitting outside enjoying a nice cuppa , feeling the warmth of the sun on my face.Immedieatly the sounds of the triggling water in the fountain, the feeling of warmth on my face, and the taste of tea in my mouth , brought images in my mind of my childhood.Sitting in Bahamas, out by the pool, with my family, having scrambled eggs and warm cups of tea, while the sun bathed us.Its a wonderful memory, a happy childhood memory.I hadn't thought of that memeory for years....but this simple cuppa outside brought it all flooding in, from the deep subconcious into concious awareness.This is the process of our minds.Its the same reason we find ourselves smoking twice as much whenever our firend Sally comes over.Or craving choctops or popcorn at the movies, or becomming morish for a biscuit with every cup of tea, or craving nuts with beer, or having a smoke , a tea, a coffee at exactly the same times each day.We are all programed and the link to our programing is through the imprinting of our senses and the assocaitions connected to them.Its all just conditioning.The good news is we can re-condition our minds into storing more positive, enhancing habits...thus is the power of hypnosis.
Life is a jar of sand, rocks and pebbles
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with large stones. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes".
The professor then produced two cups of coffee/water from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The large stones are the important things in life. Your family, your children, your health, your beliefs, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.
The sand is everything else, the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the large stones. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the garbage disposal.
Take care of the big stones first; the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
Life Themes
Theme definition; distinct and unifying idea: a distinct, recurring, and unifying quality or idea msn Encarta
What is it?
A Life Theme/s is the idea or motivation that drives you or limits you, throughout your life.
Do I have more than one theme?
Yes we have many themes we base all our life’s story on, the idea is to recognize the predominate themes.
Where do these themes’ come from?
Although many aspects of your early developing years can add to the creation of your themes the predominate source is the themes about life your Mother gave you, and the themes about life your Father gave you.
Why do I want to know this?
You may know your life theme or you may not. The advantage of understanding your life theme is that can provide you with great insight into why you react to certain situations the way you do or why you even do particular things. Once you know what your themes are you can consciously choose to create to create the life you need rather than unconsciously fight for it.
Eg. If one of your life’s themes is acceptance, you may be unconsciously turning people away as a reaction to fear of not being accepted rather than consciously letting trusted people in, and sharing your needs.
Is it important to understand other people’s life themes as well?
Absolutely, the advantage of figuring out other people's life themes is that you will then have a much better understanding of why they may be behaving in a certain way. Once you figure this out, you suddenly know an incredible amount about the inner workings of that person.
E.g. one useful application of this could be that you are having problems working with a co-worker. So you figure out that their life theme is the quest for acceptance. If you know this then you can make huge strides by being aware that you need to invite them to coffee as well when you go so that they feel like they’re part of the group. You’ll also be more conscious not to make certain comments or to just encourage them more in a certain area than you normally might not. Soon, you’ll find that not only are you no longer having problems working with them that you’re actually getting along really well.
Are themes positive or negative?
Both. It’s about understanding what the themes are, and who gave them to you. Then, you get to decide which one you want to keep. How you can create a life that supports and nourishes the themes in a healthy way and/or how you can get rid of or rework the ones that limit you.
Do most people have the same life theme?
Everyone is completely unique so therefore their life theme will be unique as well. Most likely it will also be affected by situations they’ve been through in the past.
There are lots of different ones but a common one is related to the idea of being accepted by society.
Power of Knowledge
The wonderful aspect of figuring out your own or someone else’s life theme is the incredible insight it provides you with. Used properly, it can enable you with the tools to achieve your greatest dreams or even to just get along with that certain relative or co-worker. It’s up to you.
Cleaning Up the Clutter in Our Lives
The purpose of this exercise is twofold. One is the clutter in our environment and the other is the clutter in our minds. Both situations can generate frustration, exhaustion and much more as we are constantly reminded of things we may or may not have been willing to let go of. They represent holdings on. They could represent nostalgia, memoirs, and laziness ... different meanings for different people. Whatever your environment represents for you it’s important to recognize the metaphor as an outward representation of the inward experience.
Ever notice how as things get jumbled in your mind those loose papers, and little piles of “things” start to build up. Sometimes we put off alleviating the clutter until we are immersed in it. The more those things build up the more overwhelmed we become as our mind’s become over loaded and we just don’t know where to begin. Life becomes a juggling act as we are constantly running to catch up.
If we wait until this point, it can become a very disheartening and tedious experience.
The act of spring cleaning our homes, cars, offices and general environment can often be exactly what we need to have that fresh start. Clearing the way and ultimately clearing the mind for new things.
What are you holding on to that you can let go of in your own environment and within the caverns of your mind?
If you find yourself a little overwhelmed, or indecisive or simply feeling stuck in a rut, chances are by clearing your environment you will clear the way in your mind to see a new path.
There is no better time than spring to prepare your environment for the new seeds of growth you are ready to plant.
Start with one room and divide the contents of your “things” into 3 piles, absolutely out, maybe keep, and absolutely must keep. Once you’ve done that discard the outs, and negotiate the maybes. Ask yourself; “Have I worn it in over a year?”, or “Do I use it or is there some emotional attachment to it?”
Buy organizers to make your job easier.
You’ll be amazed how wonderful your mind and ultimately your new outlook will be.
Turn the automatic Pilot switch off and control emotional eating
Emotional eating is the umbrella for which habitual, hypnotic and unconscious eating falls. What it all adds up to is eating under the false illusion that you are hungry or need the food when really you are using food as a placebo, filler or a distraction in your daily life.
We are all operating on automatic pilot, unconsciously allowing old outdated programs to get us through our daily lives. Food becomes the convenient, easily accessible crutch in which we stuff down, distract, heal, soothe, reward, nourish, celebrate, hide, and obsess over. Like any toxic relationship, a negative payoff is created as we unconsciously crave our fix.
Until we address what food is really being used for in our lives and replace it with healthier coping strategies, the unhealthy cycle continues.
Weight is a metaphor for what isn’t right in our lives. You need to identify your needs, areas of imbalance, and switch off the automatic pilot response to life.
You need to change your environment, change the rituals in your daily life, feed your mind, and nourish your spirit. In doing so you alter the way you think which changes the way you feel ultimately affecting your viewpoint.
The rewards in this changing process must be greater than the perceived effort. Chances are you have been using this form of coping for many years and however unhealthy it is more natural to you than change. The initial discomfort is where most people quit, but persevere and the new habits will become the new program in which you operate. Turn the automatic pilot switch off, and switch on to a new you and a new life.
Burgers make you hungry, new research finds
A BIG hamburger on the way home from the pub on Friday night can still be making you hungry at work on Monday.
Researchers have found burgers, ice cream and chocolate don't go straight to your hips but straight to your head.
The unhealthy fats make their way to the brain, where they switch off the system that tells us we've had enough to eat and how hungry we are.
The fat makes the brain switch off the appetite-regulating hormones leptin and insulin.
US researchers believe the effect is so powerful a cheeseburger eaten on a Friday could make you hungry three days later.
The research, published in the Journal of Clinical Investigation, said palmitic fat, found in butter, cheese, milk and beef, was the best at tricking the brain.
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